The Fear of Love

Imagine this

You're scared of feeling this intense disappointment that you felt once. At least once. This was a time when you wanted something so bad... and then you didn't get it. And the resentment and unworthiness that you felt afterwards… well, you don’t want to feel this ever again. When you felt this way, you searched frantically for the explanation - "People are just horrible, selfish and dangerous. Maybe I don’t deserve it. Maybe I’m not enough. Maybe it’s not possible. Maybe I’m not meant to be happy.” - because you needed a story to protect yourself. To hide behind. To escape the pain.

What you don't realise is that this disappointing experience came from love. Because the universe was in some way sending you something bigger and better to experience. The "silver lining” is always there but often you cannot see it. Only in retrospect can you realise the way that you grew from this disappointment. And then you can see that the growth that you experienced was the very reason you needed to experience this disappointment. The “silver lining” is in fact a “golden thread” which runs through everything. The universe is always sending you something to expand into.

But right now you can’t see this because the emotion is too raw. And you can’t face feeling this way again.

You’re scared of failure, but you can only really fail when you go for something that you love. Mediocre pursuits that you don't truly love will never scare you. This is why you go for mediocre; if you fail at mediocre, it doesn’t mean anything, it cannot hurt. But now, if you (a) can only fail at things that you truly love and (b) you avoid things that you're scared of failing at, then: You are avoiding all the things that you love. You have a fear of love.

What do you do

  • Decide to face your fear. It's not likely to be easy but know that it will be worth it.
  • Notice the fear when it emerges.
  • Feel the fear, fully. Sit with it for a while. Embrace it as though you were hugging it.
  • Recognise this truth: The fear you feel is actually love calling you.
  • There will come a point when you feel at peace with this feeling, and the pull of desire will return. It will be obvious to you. Run with it!

It’s true that you might fail again. It's also true that if you never gamble, you will never win. If you never lose, you cannot grow. Life is a beautiful game and, when you make enough plays, some big ones will go your way.

Make some bets on yourself. Play Bigger x


Can RTT release my fear?

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is extremely effective in removing fears and realising self-love.

The best way forward is to discuss your needs on a call. We will talk through what you want to accomplish, the options for moving forward and any questions you have.

If you want to peruse some information before our call. Or you would prefer to understand more before speaking with me. You should check out the Guide to RTT.

Lastly, and most importantly, I'd like to thank you. The opportunity to work with you is inspiring for me. In fact, it's my mission :)

Sukh Kalsi